Last Day…

Today is my last day in the ole Magnolia. In all honestly, I’m finding it extremely hard to grasp. Tomorrow night, I will be falling asleep in an unfamiliar place and a strange bed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so incredibly excited to be starting this new adventure in my life, but at the same time, I’m so torn. Bittersweet does not even begin to describe it.

People from my high school used to always complain about this “small” town. And I must admit, I did too. But even though it got boring at times and all I wanted to do was leave, this place did become a part of me. So many friends were made, experiences and memories made, and adventures had. 

I’ve spent most of today by myself, packing. Instead of thinking deep profound thoughts about my future, my mind has been pretty blank. I’ve found that I don’t really have an appetite and I’m torn between jumping for joy and sobbing uncontrollably. 

I’ve never been the type of person to get homesick. I get peoplesick. I’m the kind of person that gets passionate about a lot of things and people, so it gets hard to have to be away from them. However, I won’t be completely alone in Austin. I have plenty of family there! 

Not only that, but I don’t even feel like I’m going to school. Sure, I lost a pretty penny to textbooks {even though they’re rented!} but it doesn’t feel like I’m about to learn again. Oh, I’m sure that statement will slap me in the face when I wake up bright and early for my 8 a.m. calculus class. 

I’ve always been told that I seem older than I actually am {most of the time} and that I’m more mature than most people my age. Now, headed off to a new place, I am afraid of feeling small, not confident, or naive there and it makes me nervous. I like to be in control of situations or at least a small part of one. 

I kind of feel like this:

Image

I’m hoping that my training plan will allow me to stay sane, because that’s at least one thing that I can control.

Anyway, sorry about the rant (if that’s what this is). I’ll pour my love of fall into this blog tomorrow, because today I feel too odd.

Peace and love, folks.

And wish me luck tomorrow.

 

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Courtney says:

    Confession: I was one to complain about Magnolia being small and boring; however, I did learn that it had woven itself into the fibers of me so that I take it where ever I go. It is a part of you. You can always go back! For the first year I was away, I didn’t feel like I had been ‘home’ until I visited Magnolia (my mom had moved to Spring by then). Blessings! I’m catching up on your posts. So excited for you, Juliana! -Courtney (perhaps better known as Mama Tiki? Gah, that’s a weird thing to type after all these years).

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