Let’s Talk About: The Scale

This is a very personal topic for me. And I’m only writing about it because I am stressed out about it, so I thought expressing myself would help.

After changing my eating habits and actually routinely exercising since the beginning of the summer, I’ve lost weight. I learned what foods are truly nutritious and what my body needs as an athlete to be properly fueled throughout the day or during a workout. During that time, I hardly ever stepped on a scale because I was more interested in how strong and good I felt. Not the number that I would see on a bathroom scale.

However, in September, I reached a weight loss plateau. I’ve been maintaining a pretty constant weight and that’s okay with me. But since I’ve been home for the holidays I’ve gone out of control. And it happens every time! My pantry in my apartment is very simply stocked, with enough to get me to my next grocery shopping trip. But at home, there’s SO MUCH. Not only that, but with the holidays just passing, there’s been big dinners and lots of going out to eat. 

So, about 10 minutes ago I felt the urge to weigh myself… I fought it and fought it, but I gave in and ran downstairs to check. 

Let’s just say I was not pleased. At all. 

What’s frustrating, is that rationally, I know there are so many contributing factors to the higher than normal number.

1. Yes, my calorie consumption has been higher than normal because of the holidays, but not that much higher.

2. Sodium and water intake. Blah blah blah.

3. Some increased muscle mass. Okay, yes, I have been doing long runs since I’ve been home, and I have been working out. But still.

And when it all boils down, it shouldn’t be about the number on a stupid scale, it should be about how I feel. Nonetheless, it’s still pretty hard not to beat myself up because of straying off track.

But hey, you know what they say, 

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This is a very personal topic for me because I have a goal I want to reach and it’s hard on me when I get setback or off track. But I guess that could probably be said for many people, right?

In the end though, I think what frustrates me most is that I let my weight bother me. I ran 11.11 miles on Tuesday. I ran an extra unplanned 1.11 and I am so freaking proud of that. I was tired and thirsty and my knees were killing me, but I pushed myself. I have muscles built from hard work and real and nutritious foods {like chia seeds and spinach} that carried me that far and filled me with endorphins. I am so incredibly proud of that. I am registered for the Austin Half Marathon in February and I plan to crush it. So what my waist isn’t exactly what I want it to be? With every workout, I get faster and stronger and happier and that’s what matters. And that’s what I had truly always wanted in the long run.

I let this image of a perfect body take over my true goal. To be healthy and happy and the best I can be.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always want to improve and eventually get to my dream weight, but for now, I just need to accept where I am and work from there. 

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It makes me sad that I was upset about the number on my scale. It makes me sad that I see models on billboards and commercials and think “that’s what want to look like.” 

Today I did 10 push ups easy peasy. Not even two months ago I could’ve done them, but I would have needed to push myself and I would be breaking a sweat.

Today I ran 2.3 miles and then called it quits because my shoulder was tight. 6 months ago, I probably wouldn’t have even made it that far.

Today I ran a 9:15 min/mile pace. Not even two months ago I ran ~10:45 min/miles. 

I am becoming the best that I can be.

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These past 6 months have taught me who I am and what I want to do with my life. 

That is an incredible thing. Looking at the big picture, the number on the scale is minuscule in importance. 

I want to live a life with no regrets. A life of adventure and happiness and self improvement. Not a life of self criticism and doubt.

I realize this post has changed as it has progressed, but to be completely honest, this was exactly what I needed. 

I am worth more than how I look or how much I weigh. Not only am I worth more than that, but everyone else too.

The holidays typically go hand in hand with some weight gain. But this is my message to you {and me as well!} You are worth far more than a stupid number. Because as I’ve realized as I’ve written this post, it’s a really really stupid number.

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I feel much better. And I hope this post helped someone else too.

Have a wonderful night.

And an even better tomorrow.

Be fearless and be happy.

Love,

Juliana

One thought on “Let’s Talk About: The Scale

  1. You know what I have to say about it. I can’t wait to do that many push ups in a row, I can barely do one, and the miles you ran! Holy Moly, you sound so strong and I’m proud of you and I wish you well and I hope you just keep going, keep going because the moment you stop it will be so easy to go back. I mean for me, I’m praying for consistancy. This summer I was practicing my planks and I got up to one solid minute when I first began I could barely hold 10 seconds. Then I quit and now I’m back to square one plus some. I think not giving up and consistancy may be the anwer. I’m just so proud of you that’s all. I know I don’t know you but we are all in this together you know.

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