Proud.

I believe there is a difference between being proud and being prideful.

To me, being prideful means wearing your pride on your sleeve. Being overly showy and obnoxious about it. Being prideful and being humble are antonyms to me.

But to be proud is another story. Being proud of yourself means randomly smiling to yourself out of pure happiness and bliss for some achievement that you are proud of. Sometimes you share the reason for your smile. Sometimes you don’t. That is being proud.

So, today I want to tell you why I am proud. It’s been the main thing I think about while I’ve been running lately. So, here are a few reasons that I find myself randomly breaking into a smile or laughter… Here are some reasons that I am proud of myself:

1. When I started high school, I was absolutely terrified to speak in front of more than 2 or 3 people, unless I knew everyone very well. By the time I graduated, I was proud to be a TFA State semifinalist in foreign extemp and a UIL State finalist in persuasive extemp {both public speaking events.} Of course, I know this was not all my own doing. I had countless people backing me up, such as my amazing teammates that contributed to extemp files and were just helpful in general. And of course, my coach. Without her, none of it would have ever been possible. It’s probably sounding like I peaked in high school, huh? Hahaha.

2. This past summer I turned my life around. Since June 2013, I’ve lost 20 pounds and gained so much more in muscle. I have never touched a weight loss drink or program or pills. I just changed the way I ate and handled my body. I said goodbye to sodas and fast food on accident because I was slowly replacing them with more wholesome foods and drinks. I also started journaling what I ate. No one told me I had to. No one necessarily taught me the “miracle weight loss” tricks. Instead, I learned and listened to my body and it has made all the difference. Which leads me to number

3. Along with changing the way I ate, I began to workout this summer. It started with elliptical workouts and 15 crunches and 5 or 6 push ups. That would leave me a sweaty mess and then I’d leave the gym with an accomplished smile on my face. Eventually, I took up running and got more serious about strength training. Two days after I moved into this apartment, I ran 2.02 miles in 22:27 minutes, which is about 11:05 min/mile. On Sunday, 4 days ago {Jan. 26} I ran 10 miles in 1:43:28, which is about 10:15 min/mile. And today I ran 5 miles at a 9:50 min/mile pace. Again, no one told me I had to run. No one told me I had to keep up with it. No one told me what to do to become disciplined. I learned. I loved. I run. And I am proud of that.

Most importantly, number

4. This has to do with my secret resolution for this year. I was going to keep it a secret for a little while longer, but it seems right to put it in this post. My secret resolution for 2014 was to get out of my comfort zone. Sounds cliche, right? But it’s not. Because I want to grow. I want to adventure and experience and see what would happen. I’ve been documenting day by day in a secret blog of mine, and I was worried about people’s judgements, but I think it’s time to share. So here it is. And I’m going to steal a post I wrote the other day on that blog because I think it explains my feelings about the resolution exceptionally well.

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“I decided on this resolution for 2014 in order to become more courageous and brave in my every day life. I set out to experience more and adventure more.

I had no idea, even only at 22 days in, how much it would change me.

I am happier with myself and my life than I have been in a really long time.

My family makes me happy, my friends make me happy, my boyfriend makes me so happy. But it’s been a long time since I have made myself happy.

Not anymore.

That’s serendipity, my friends.

My cup runneth over,

Juliana.”

 

 

Maybe you all will think I’m boasting and being prideful. But I don’t. 

I’m just so happy. And completely proud of myself and my accomplishments.

I hope you are proud and happy of yours too.

Love,

Juliana

2 thoughts on “Proud.

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