Disclaimer: This is more of a personal post than some others, but bear with me. We don’t have to always have it together.
There’s something sitting very heavy on my chest and I’m having a really hard time figuring out what it is.
I’m starting to feel very claustrophobic in Austin and in my apartment and in my daily routine. It’s not that I feel suffocated, but it’s like I can’t escape.
I keep reminding myself that I’ll be in Mexico for a whole month this summer, essentially on my own, but even that doesn’t feel like enough.
I want to throw off the chains and adventure with reckless abandon. I want to go places that I’ve never been and meet new people and experience things that I can’t even imagine yet.
But right now, I have responsibilities. I’m not having to fight off the urge to shuck those important things to the side, I just wish I had more room for other things. And I know I can make room, but I don’t want wiggle space, I want a whole freaking house.
I want to drive with the windows down and stop when I want and go where I want. I want to run through a field of sunflowers. I want to jump off a giant rock into a freezing cold lake. I want to hug people and shake them and jump on them out of happiness.
Does any of that make sense?
I want to go go go and do do do.
I want someone to adventure with me because right now I feel stuck.
If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it. I’m a firm believer that when you feel like you need to do something then you should just DO but right now I’m all in a funk.
“Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground.”