raw

This is going to be messy and disorganized, but that’s okay. It’s not for you. It’s for me.

I don’t know what it is that I’m feeling right now. I am so happy that school has started because I love to learn. Lately, I’ve felt myself pulled toward the complete and utter pursuit of knowledge. But I don’t want to learn out of a textbook. Or from a lecture.

I want to see with my own eyes. I want to listen to others around the world. I want to speak with them. Hug them. I want to touch the dirt underneath my feet. I want to hear the birds and insects in forests untouched by man and machinery. I want to ditch every single social convention and just go.

I’m already going to ignore the part of me that’s saying that no one really wants to read about the more complicated, confused parts of my mind.

I want to read books and interpret them myself.

I want to jump off of cliffs into freezing cold water.

I want to do nothing but ask ‘why’.

I want to ask ‘how’.

Why does the world have to be this way?

How can we change it?

Why do I feel so drawn to learn, but so alienated from my classes?

Why do I want nothing more than to buy a plane ticket and go anywhere?

Why do I feel like an animal trapped in a cage?

Why can’t I convey exactly what I’m feeling and have someone understand exactly what I mean?

Why can’t I just love everyone else and never worry about a grade in a class or what my income will look like one day?

How can I find peace right now? How can I disappear at least for a little while to sort my feelings out? How can I buy as many plane tickets as possible on a tiny budget? How can I travel the world and focus on all the life that fills it?

That’s what I want.

I want all of this to make sense. I want to understand why my heart is being pulled the way it is. And I do not want to be told that I am in a funk or that I’ll be fine.

I was never born to sit on the beach and be ‘fine’. I was made to make waves.

I’m not good at talking exactly about what’s bothering me, so I thought I’d give writing a try.

I don’t want to have shallow conversations.

I hate hate hate open ends. And I don’t believe in burning bridges. I want to understand. Why can’t I be comfortable and content doing the same boring stuff most people do? I don’t want that. I really don’t. I just want to understand my own brain and my own heart better.

And that’s a challenge and a process and I’m looking for where to start.

I don’t want to hear gossip. I want to hear ideas. Beautiful, life changing ideas that deserve to be heard.

I want to hear how your day went. I want to know how you like your coffee. I want to know if you’re a breakfast for dinner type of person.

I want my life to be consumed of love for all of the life there is on this earth. But I don’t want to feel so lost as I do right now.

This is great, too. I’ll admit to that. Being lost and confused and challenged and uncomfortable is the time that I believe we grow into ourselves and change the most. And that’s a wonderful thing. But I also want to admit to being raw and open and lost.

I want to share with you what I learned about math today. But I also want to tell you about the ladybug that crawled all over my arm today.

I want complex and I want simple.

I want understanding and focus and clarity and absolute chaos.

I wanted to put this all out there.

-Juliana

why do I like spanish so much?

Hey.

Today was the first day of school. It was great and I think this is going to be a really incredible semester!

It’s a little odd though because I am so happy to have a schedule again, yet I also want nothing more than to aimlessly roam.

Whatcha got, life? Bring it on.

My classes this semester are: Cellular and Molecular Nutrition, Genetics, Assessment of Nutritional Status + Lab, Swim Conditioning, Undergraduate Nutrition Research (not so much a class), and then Intermediate Spanish.

I had Spanish today and, you guys, it really lights me up.

I’m not sure if it’s Spanish I enjoy or the art of language and communication or if it’s simply because the learning experience is so incredible, but I feel so passionate about learning the language.

I felt that way last semester and in Mexico and now.

What does this meaaaaan?

All I know is that I want to go to Peru.

Mucho gusto,

Juliana

chuveje

451 and Snaps

The day really didn’t get started until after noon…

I woke up at 8, broke the fast, then went grocery shopping, came home, got back into bed, had an early lunch, then got back into bed.

What can I say? Apparently my workout yesterday was more intense than I had thought, so I woke up with incredible soreness.

As I was lounging around, I was walking a lot of Vlogbrothers on YouTube. I’m a big fan of passionate people, so listening to John Green be so passionate about books and reading and reading deeply and constantly bettering ourselves made me want to go to the library.

I then drove to Bennu to caffeinate myself. They have a line of mochas all named after historical literature.

  
I then went to the Austin Public Library, roamed around all the while realizing that I did not remember how to use a library, and then settled on these two books:

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (which I somehow had gotten through 15 years of schooling without reading)

And Coincidences, Chaos, and All That Math Jazz by Edward Burger (who used to make hilarious algebra videos that I watched in 7th grade) and Michael Starbird (who works at UT!)   

 
I started and finished Fahrenheit 451 and was, and for a lack of a better word, burned by it. I’m still processing what it means to me. I loved it a lot. One quote stuck out to me the most:

“How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”

Then I started reading the second book, which is an incredibly interesting and fascinating take on explaining complex mathematical theory to the general public. So far it’s been witty and comical and I’m enjoying it a lot.

  
   
 
I went to campus to swim so laps, saw an attractive dude doing impressive yoga, and then came home where I’ve been reading and watching more Vlogbrothers since.

The day began rainy and then got sunny, but it’s been completely and totally relaxing.

Hasta luego,

Juliana 

cafe de olla <3

Currently laying in bed, typing this on my WordPress app, because the exhaustion is too real…

I made cafe de olla today! It was amazing. My roommate Kyle and my BFF Britt both approved! Holllaaaa.

I drank a lot of this in Mexico and got a bit hooked so I had to figure out how to make it myself… I compared a few different recipes and ended up with this:

FIRST, in four cups of water, dissolve a little less than 1/3 cup of  this:

 
Also throw in half a stick of Mexican cinnamon or whatever cinnamon you can find.

Bring that to a boil or at least cook it until all the sugar cane is melted in. 

  
  
Take the pot off heat and then use 4 Tbs of pretty seriously ground coffee and throw it into your sugary water and cover the pot to let the coffee steep for 5 minutes. Side note: I think a darker roast is a better choice than a breakfast blend because the stronger, more intense flavor of a dark roast would balance with the sugar in the drink. But if you just want caffeine and sugar, then by all means use a lighter roast!

Next is the hardest part in my opinion. You have to strain out the coffee grounds. 

  
I used a French Press for convenience! (Also please don’t mind the background… I was making lunch… More Mexican food!)

I know the coffee looks dark and scary and bitter but it’s actually so smooth and just sweet enough that coffee afocionados and “coffee” (aka milk) drinkers alike will love it!

Not the most nutritious drink ever, but whatevs. It’s tasty and amazing and should be made and shared every once in a while!

Come on over for breakfast some morning and I’ll make us cafe de olla and chilaquiles.

Food is a part of my love language.

Love,

Jules

Be here // Go do

Hey guys, it’s honesty hour. Since I’ve gotten home from Mexico, I’ve been in a very real slump. It’s the first time in a really really long time that I haven’t had a set agenda and schedule. It’s been making me feel very low energy, unproductive, and honestly pretty sad.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it and yesterday I talked to one of my wisest friends, Marissa. You guys. Mar knows all things and she has a heart of gold. Go befriend her asap.

Basically, she reminded me that it’s okay to slow down. And then I fell asleep and dreamt a lot. 

I had dreams about things that I actually don’t remember anymore, but when my alarm went off at 6 am for my long run I rolled over, saw that it was storming outside, and went back to sleep.

It’s a sign from the universe to take a chill pill.

I have two pictures in my room that I loves lot. One says “be here” and the other says “go do”. If you know me even a little bit, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I do not like to stay still. I constantly crave action and newness and adventure and spontaneity. Therefore, this last week has been difficult.

I’m also hilariously terrible at resting. Back in January my IT band got all janky and I should’ve just rested it. Did I? No. And the issue lasted much longer than it probably would’ve. I need to learn.

So, in order to survive the next week and a half before school starts, here’s my mission: do whatever I want. 

A lot of the time I compile lists in my head of things that I’d like to do, recipes I want to attempt, people I want to see, crafts I’d like to botch terribly… But I never actually do them because I’m always so wrapped up in my plans. I’m all for doing things on a whim, but sometimes things fall to the wayside…

THEREFORE! These next 11 days are going to be about:

Enjoying workouts

Recipes I’ve always wanted to try -> so far: salsa, peach cobbler, zucchini banana chocolate chip muffins

Delivering newly baked food goodies to friends -> its my love language

Attempting crafts -> medal hanger today!

Extravagant breakfasts and French Press coffee

Galveston trip and maybe some camping

Finishing a book or just scrapping it and getting a new one

Decorating my room and setting up the house

Volunteering at the food bank

So mostly just doing stuff that is good for my soul. Finding the balance between “be here” and “go do”.
With hopefully some fun blog posts as well! 

Here’s to the next few days and the peace it will bring..
Love,

Juliana

the perfect summer treat.

Hola! I am officially back in Austin and in my new house and I love it!

I have the next two weeks before school starts completely off. Erica has been hanging out with me, but I am not used to being so free. Entonces, I’ve been cooking a lot!

Today I have a really fun treat for you!

VEGAN PEACH COBBLER 🙂

IMG_4225[1]

The recipe is so easy. As soon as it finished, I globbed it all on a plate, ran outside to take a picture, then ran back inside to prevent the ice cream and myself from melting.

The ingredients:

For the inside:

  • Five peaches, peeled and diced
  • 1/8 cup brown sugar
  • 1/8 cup coconut palm sugar (or white sugar)
  • 1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 tsp flour

For the crust:

  • 1/2 cup of flour
  • 2 Tbs brown sugar
  • 2 Tbs coconut palm (or white) sugar
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 3 Tbs vegan Earth Balance butter
  • 1/8 cup of hot hot hot water

Preheat the oven to 425. Mix all the ingredients for the inside together and throw them in an 8×8 baking dish. Deeply inhale the delicious smell coming from your mixture and then throw it in the oven for 10 minutes.

While that’s cooking, prepare the crust. It’s easy. Mix all the ingredients together EXCEPT for the hot water. You may get something that’s a crumblyish consistency that just seems a bit wrong. Afterwards, add the hot water and mix it all together. Our batter ended up being one big ball that we broke into 9 biscuit shaped pieces.

After the peaches had been in the oven for 10 minutes, we took the pan out and put the nine dough/patty things on top. We put it all back in the oven for 20 minutes and VOILA! PEACH COBBLER!

Kathryn picked up Sweet Ritual vegan vanilla ice cream to go with it and it was perfecttttttt. I wish I had had lemonade to go with it!

PLEASE go make this right now. It doesn’t take very long and it will please your roommates and anyone else you decide to share it with.

Now Erica and I are going to go cool off at Barton Springs! Adios!

IMG_4223[1]

dreaming.

Attempt #2:

When I sat down to write the first attempt, it started like this: “So I’m not sure if I’ll actually finish this…”

I wrote it like that because I’ve found that when I have a thought or feeling that is really pulling at my heart and soul, it’s almost impossible for me to find the words I want to express it.

Nonetheless, I decided to give it a go and then when I tried to upload a picture, my whole app crashed and I lost the draft.

I’m taking it as a sign from the universe.

Tomorrow I leave Querétaro. It hurts.

I love you, I’ll miss you. I’ll see you soon.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”