2/29/16

Today I am going to buy myself some flowers and then talk about what’s important to me.

Whether that’s to a person or a piece of paper with a pen, I don’t know.

But it’s Monday. And the week is full of ample opportunity.

And I made extra coffee this morning.

So let’s do this.

  

surrounds

If you’d just take a minute of your time, away from biochem modules or the Oscars or dinner, to think about who surrounds you…

Do those people lift you up? Do they make your heart completely and entirely full? Do you love them with your whole being?

I was just doing that kind of thinking and I feel like I could burst with gratitude.

Life is good. Love is real. I’m so happy I could did cry.

Tomorrow’s Monday and that’s glorious.

Beautiful wonderful magnificent Sunday, everyone.

Love,

Juliana

“together”

Today I sat in the hot tub after my swim and did some thinking. Tuesdays are my busiest day of the week and normally are full of lab and assignments and an entire day of classes, not to mention, tomorrow I have an exam!

However, as I sat there, I thought about ways to break down what I needed to do tonight. I began to mentally sort it all into achievable chunks to ensure that I wouldn’t get stressed.

After making the decision to do that, I quickly realized that it wasn’t unmanageable at all. As a matter of fact, I feel comfortable using my time to write this because I’ve achieved what I really needed to.

It got me thinking about organization and about how there are some people I know that just really seem to have their lives together (keyword: seem). I played around with some ideas of what it would take for me to accomplish that too, but all of them seemed so draining.

Because here’s the thing, and I’m sure you’re already well aware but let’s reiterate: No one has it together.

No one!

Not even that kid that sits next to you in class that got an A on the first exam and you barely made it over the class average.

Not even that girl that is always dressed impeccably and has zero frizz in her hair.

Not even the owner of the Instagram account that uses the perfect filters.

Not even the athlete that is always faster than you.

We’re all such a mess and that’s really cool.

We all experience doubt in crippling ways and we all win some and lose some. We do. All of us.

It can be hard, I know, to accept that when you’ve always been cast as the “good one”. This works for just about any title to have ever existed and they normally all come with their own ridiculous, unfulfillable definitions:

The good student/child/friend/wife/boyfriend/lover/employee/intern/person… Yada yada yada, ya feel me?

None of those things actually exist. You are never one thing. We’re very dynamic and unstable and that’s messy and great. I hope deeply that you are not the same person tomorrow that you were today. I hope you’re not the same person now then you were this morning. Constantly constantly constantly we are being molded and shaped and changed by what we experience, if we allow it.

So how can we ever have it truly “together”? Who knows what will happen tomorrow! Your entire world can change and you’re not going to want your arms busied trying to have it “together”.

You’ll want them open. Wide. Palms up. Ready to embrace whatever life throws at you next.

Brace yourself.

Love,

Juliana

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what is okay

Hi. I’m here this evening because this is what I’ve been thinking:

It’s okay.

It’s okay to feel stressed right now. I don’t know about you but I’ve got a lot of exams and assignments coming up. Hello, midterms! The stress is real and the panic is okay. There’s a power in even the heaviest of trudge through this time. Truly.

It’s okay to wonder what the hell is going on in your life. Things not going quite the way you expected? Great! Things going better than you could have ever even anticipated? Wahoo! Either way, you’re killing it at this whole life thing. If you plan on waking up tomorrow with open arms, ready to see wherever the day will take you, then I applaud you.

It’s okay to feel small and not enough. Yeah, that’s okay. What’s not okay is to swallow that and believe it. Because it’s not true. But you’ve gotta feel things sometimes before you can actually figure them out. That being said, if this is what you’re feeling tonight, please understand that you are 100%, forever and always, capable and significant and ready. For whatever. I guarantee that.

It’s okay to feel immense, uncontrollable joy. If you need to stand up from your spot in the library or kitchen table and stretch and allow that vibration of goodness run from your head to your toes, then I beg you to do that.

It’s okay to feel disconnected. School’s not feeling so right this semester? Friendship in a pickle? No clue what’s going on in your own life? That’s OKAY. Actually! There are seasons of understanding and seasons of fear or no return. I get that. And to be honest, it’s really sucky. But it’s worth it. And you can get through it.

It’s okay to do what makes you happy. It’s not selfish. It’s not stupid. It’s necessary for your well-being. If it fills you up, if it makes you better, if it helps you breathe, do it. End of story.

It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to talk it out to someone. I understand entirely how terrifying it is to lay it all out there. I do. It’s also incredibly frustrating to sometimes find the words to actually convey your thoughts. That’s normally where I end up struggling. But listen, whether you realize this or not, there is someone in your life that can actually translate all your rambling. And they can stand with you and love you.

It’s okay to be that person for someone else, too.

It’s okay to feel different. We’re all so beautiful and unique. Fear of judgement is real and strong, but you are authentic. Share share share. Please.

It’s okay to still feel strange.

It’s okay, you wonderful human being.

You’ve got this. I’m cheering for you.

Love (really),

Juliana

seek.

“What you seek is seeking you.”

Happy Friday! I hope that you approach today with enthusiasm, love, adventure, and gratitude. That’s my personal goal.

Here you are. Wide awake and full of potential to completely make someone’s day; even if that person is you!

What an incredible and fabulous thing!

Let’s all come to today at our absolute bests. Whatever happened yesterday is gone and past and today, well, today is going to rock so hard. I know it.

Jump with joy and hug some people!

Love,

Jules

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dance.

I’ve been watching old dance videos tonight and it’s got me thinking hard.

I’ve watched old solos of mine (some I don’t even remember performing!), duets, and team dances from a wide range of years.

They mostly make me smile and sometimes cringe. A flexed foot or wrongly bent leg still makes me shudder to this day!

Regardless, I realized how thankful I was for that past. And I thought about how dancing wasn’t just a sport for me, it truly was an outlet. I worked through hard times in my life by actually dancing through them. I got to tell my own personal story on the gym floor.

And now, I don’t dance so much anymore. By no means is this a bad thing for me, it’s just fascinating. There are so many different sources, hobbies, and people I go to in my life now when I need to just let it all out.

Although I do enjoy a good improv session from time to time.

I like the fact that I’m not the same person now as I was dancing all those years ago. I like the fact that I’m not the same person now that I was last week.

I like the fact that looking back to a year ago, two years, five years, can evoke such deep memories and feelings and thoughts. I like the fact that all that time was slowly preparing me for what is happening now and what is yet to come.

When I was afraid or impatient or joyous and carefree, all of that was boiling down to now. Or tomorrow.

All those hours in the dance studio, all that time on the stage or gym floors, brought me to where I am today. And my cup runneth over.

Love,

Juliana

P.S. I danced to Turning Page x Sleeping At Last my junior year and I still can listen to that song without ever getting sick of it.

 

Currently, I am…

Hey, happy Tuesday.

Currently, I am…

Listening to Hello/Lacrimosa by The Piano Guys.

Thinking hard about a life thing.

Resisting the urge to go on a run.

Wondering what it’d be like to be boating down the Amazon.

Wanting to stargaze.

Procrastinating a biochemistry learning module.

Organizing my thoughts.

Summoning the strength to work out.

Needing a massage.

Imagining going on a road trip.

Craving an iced coffee and passionate conversation.

Attempting not to fall asleep.

Digging deep to figure 100384 things out.

Ya feel me?

More Others, Less Me.

I’ve created a project for myself. (And for anyone else that would like to try!!)

For as long as I possibly can, I will be celebrating and giving love to all of my incredible friends that deserve all the best that the world has to offer.

Lately I had been catching myself thinking about magnificent my friends are and how lucky I am to have them and I kept wondering what it would be like if I could somehow unite my friends from across all the different friend groups. It then occurred to me that I really just want the world to know about these people. I want the world to see them in all their beauty and realness and humility and creativity and glory.

So I created #MoreOthersLessMe.

Rather than fill up my Instagram with photos of me and my shenanigans, I’m dedicating some time to focus on the people I am surrounded by that encourage me to grow, make me a better person, and fill me up on a daily basis. Aka I want to showcase the wonderful humans that add value and purpose to my life.

The rules are simple. The picture must be taken intentionally for the project and must be less than 48 hours old. The subject of the picture gets to decide how/where/when the picture is taken, but their face must be in it. For each friend, a new set of three questions is thought up by my own mind and sent to them to ponder. Later, the answers are documented and the post is made.

Maybe no one else cares about this at all. Maybe they’re simply pictures with a really lengthy caption. But to me, it’s an opportunity to reflect on those who surround me and lift me up. And I can only hope that it’s seen as the token of love and gratitude for my friends that it is.

I’ve interviewed three people so far and they can be found on my Instagram @junicolini.

I’m really excited about this! I love hearing the answers and seeing the pictures and it feels so warm and good.

Love,

Juliana