Ohhhh Lordy I do not have the words for my thoughts, but I’m going to give it a go anyway.
Y’all. This period of my life is stressful and also boring at the same time. And it has me feeling all sorts of things.
I feel ready to move on from being a student and start to engage in other aspects of life, but also have to wait patiently for that time to come. While also enjoying this time in the process… So much emotional conflict!
I’ve also noticed this duality in my running. I feel mentally and physically primed to start running at the level I used to, but I keep running into obstacles like my IT and groin acting up again (ugh ugh ugh). [Granted I haven’t been the best to my body lately, but I’m going to work on that!]
Ultimately I feel like I’m just waiting for stuff to happen rather than making it happen.
Today I was listening to Kelly Roberts’ podcast and then later was reading this blog and both times was reminded that I have to do things before I’m ready. Stepping into the unknown and risking it all is where we thrive. I think I’ve been talking myself into complacency a lot lately. I’d tell myself “no you’re not holding yourself back, you wouldn’t do that to yourself” yet I’ve totally been doubting my abilities in many things.
Am I making any sense whatsoever? If not, whatevs, this is more like a stream of consciousness I suppose.
I just really want to get going. Full throttle, zero apprehension, just move. And now I’m figuring out where to start!
Love love love,