thoughts for the week

Good morning and happy Monday! I don’t know why, but I felt inspired to show up here today. I had a wonderful, running-filled, outdoorsy weekend and now I am feeling tired but very happy. It took a while for me to get out of bed (I was just so comfy), but a couple of cups of coffee and some oatmeal did the trick.

Yesterday Patrick and I did our run in the afternoon as opposed to our normal early-ish morning start. It was cold and snowy and rainy and the forecast showed some potential for sunshine in the afternoon, so we decided to wait it out. We headed to C&O Canal Towpath and enjoyed some mileage through some slush and snow, but mostly on soft dirt surface. We talked as we ran but sometimes pushed along in companionable silence. Eventually we decided to split the AirPods and listened to a pleasant playlist! Earlier in the run we had had a conversation about adventures and goals and the things we want to do with our bodies and lives. We have some fun things lined up for the next few months which we are pumped about.

Even on the drive to the canal I had been telling Patrick that time has really slowed down. In my previous job I anxiously hoped for 4:30pm, for Friday, for the end of a pay period because it meant I had survived. Before that, I had awaited Patrick’s graduation, our wedding, our big move, a new job. There was always something to be desperately waiting for! Now, Patrick and I discussed, there’s no big, life-changing event on the horizon. And I’m in a job that I enjoy and doesn’t make me pull my hair out (literally). It feels really really good.

It means that the things we look forward to are things we get to create. We select our adventures, our challenges, our hopes and wishes. All in all it may come down to feeling some control again, but it’s also an appreciation of what we have right now. So as we were running, I found myself thinking on this. We’ve had discussions about how life could potentially feel boring if we didn’t have adventures and if we just worked all day and then did nothing but sit around. Honestly, it’s easy to fall into that. School has been keeping me busy too, so sometimes I log off of work and immediately start taking care of school work.

As I ran I thought of what it would be like to maximize every single day instead of looking forward to the weekend. Easier said than done and I know many people have had the identical thought. I wondered what it would be like if I found or created an adventure, however big or small, every day. It would be something to put some thought into, but wouldn’t necessarily require a ton of effort. Today we are going on a lunch break walk in the sunshine. It felt like a good start.

So that’s what I’m going for this week! I’ll also be drinking plenty of water (I track 160 oz a day, in fact), enjoying a light week of schoolwork, and planning our XC ski trip this Saturday!

What’s your week looking like? And what little adventure will you have today?

Much love,

Juliana

ramblings of an almost grad 

Ohhhh Lordy I do not have the words for my thoughts, but I’m going to give it a go anyway.

Y’all. This period of my life is stressful and also boring at the same time. And it has me feeling all sorts of things. 


I graduate in 8 days, move in 10 days, and start my internship in 24. I also have a final on Monday and can’t bring myself to study whatsoever. 

I feel ready to move on from being a student and start to engage in other aspects of life, but also have to wait patiently for that time to come. While also enjoying this time in the process… So much emotional conflict!

I’ve also noticed this duality in my running. I feel mentally and physically primed to start running at the level I used to, but I keep running into obstacles like my IT and groin acting up again (ugh ugh ugh). [Granted I haven’t been the best to my body lately, but I’m going to work on that!]

Ultimately I feel like I’m just waiting for stuff to happen rather than making it happen.

Today I was listening to Kelly Roberts’ podcast and then later was reading this blog and both times was reminded that I have to do things before I’m ready. Stepping into the unknown and risking it all is where we thrive. I think I’ve been talking myself into complacency a lot lately. I’d tell myself “no you’re not holding yourself back, you wouldn’t do that to yourself” yet I’ve totally been doubting my abilities in many things.

Am I making any sense whatsoever? If not, whatevs, this is more like a stream of consciousness I suppose. 

I just really want to get going. Full throttle, zero apprehension, just move. And now I’m figuring out where to start! 

Love love love,

Juliana

Be here // Go do

Hey guys, it’s honesty hour. Since I’ve gotten home from Mexico, I’ve been in a very real slump. It’s the first time in a really really long time that I haven’t had a set agenda and schedule. It’s been making me feel very low energy, unproductive, and honestly pretty sad.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it and yesterday I talked to one of my wisest friends, Marissa. You guys. Mar knows all things and she has a heart of gold. Go befriend her asap.

Basically, she reminded me that it’s okay to slow down. And then I fell asleep and dreamt a lot. 

I had dreams about things that I actually don’t remember anymore, but when my alarm went off at 6 am for my long run I rolled over, saw that it was storming outside, and went back to sleep.

It’s a sign from the universe to take a chill pill.

I have two pictures in my room that I loves lot. One says “be here” and the other says “go do”. If you know me even a little bit, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I do not like to stay still. I constantly crave action and newness and adventure and spontaneity. Therefore, this last week has been difficult.

I’m also hilariously terrible at resting. Back in January my IT band got all janky and I should’ve just rested it. Did I? No. And the issue lasted much longer than it probably would’ve. I need to learn.

So, in order to survive the next week and a half before school starts, here’s my mission: do whatever I want. 

A lot of the time I compile lists in my head of things that I’d like to do, recipes I want to attempt, people I want to see, crafts I’d like to botch terribly… But I never actually do them because I’m always so wrapped up in my plans. I’m all for doing things on a whim, but sometimes things fall to the wayside…

THEREFORE! These next 11 days are going to be about:

Enjoying workouts

Recipes I’ve always wanted to try -> so far: salsa, peach cobbler, zucchini banana chocolate chip muffins

Delivering newly baked food goodies to friends -> its my love language

Attempting crafts -> medal hanger today!

Extravagant breakfasts and French Press coffee

Galveston trip and maybe some camping

Finishing a book or just scrapping it and getting a new one

Decorating my room and setting up the house

Volunteering at the food bank

So mostly just doing stuff that is good for my soul. Finding the balance between “be here” and “go do”.
With hopefully some fun blog posts as well! 

Here’s to the next few days and the peace it will bring..
Love,

Juliana

My soulmate & people.

Today Erica tweeted about something hilarious. I smiled and laughed at the memory and then decided it was a story worthy of the blog. (And there will be random photos from our trip thrown in).

{The real, Juliana heart-spiel is at the bottom.}

Almost exactly a year ago, I dragged my little sister (Erica) on a road trip to Colorado Springs. It was my first time venturing off on my own, with no parents, and no family waiting for us on the other end. We took my car and we broke the trip there into two segments: we drove to Lubbock, stayed the night, and then drove all the way to Colorado.

Along the way I have memories of Erica’s severe road rage (seriously, she’s scary), miles and miles of windmills (which I oddly hated), making spinach hummus wraps in the middle of no where New Mexico, drinking a terrible excuse for iced coffee, and cringing at old Youtube videos of me singing that Erica decided to remind me of.

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One of the first orders of business when we arrived in Colorado Springs was to find me some awesome local coffee shop. I mean, come on, this is me we’re talking about.

We eventually decided on a place called Kangaroo Coffee that was about a mile or two from our hotel. On the way there, I constantly told Erica that I had a weird craving for an iced dirty chai latte, which is not something I would normally choose for myself (black iced coffee or go home), but it sounded excellent.

We pulled up to this tiny building that had either a walk up window or wrap around drive thru. Erica waited in the car and I walked up to the window to come face to face with the most handsome barista I have ever seen in my life. I’m talking Joseph Gordon-Levitt with blonde hair and a scrappy Colorado outdoorsy vibe. Holy moley.

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Before I could even open my mouth, this guy looked me straight in the eyes and said “You look like you could use an iced chai with a few shots!”

YES. YES. YES.

Mind reader or special connection? You decide. 😉

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We then proceeded to talk about why I was visiting Colorado and what I should do with my time there.

When he handed me my drink, he also gave me a 10 visit stamp card and stamped 8 of the boxes while claiming that it was “Triple Stamp Tuesday” and said he hoped to see me again soon.

“What a friendly dude!” I thought to myself.

As I told Erica the story once I was back in the car, she immediately decided that Barista Man and myself were OBVIOUSLY soulmates. And I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with this at first sight?

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I kid, I kid.

We actually ended up going back the next day and I talked to him again while I was there, but that was it.

Erica was extremely disappointed that I didn’t sporadically act on this clearly Disney worthy-once in a lifetime-long lost soulmate connection.

All because he happened to guess my drink.

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It’s funny how clearly the memory of that dude has stayed in my brain. That road trip as whole was pretty awesome, except for when Erica almost made us run out of gas in the middle of no where. 110% her fault. Don’t ever let her try to convince you otherwise.

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We meet people throughout our lives and they leave an oddly lasting impact. I honestly believe that everyone we meet and encounter and interact with walks into our lives for a reason. Sometimes we meet people that challenge us and make us grow as people (they are my favorite). Sometimes we meet people that just make us happy. Sometimes we meet people who, in the end, are not meant to stay. And all of those things are okay. Because each person we meet has a profound effect on us in one way or another. Kangaroo Coffee guy was incredibly kind to me and made me feel very welcome in CO. Or maybe he was my soulmate. We will never know. But what I do know is that we should take the time to cherish who we have in our lives. Maybe we can take a moment to reflect on our friends and our family and think about all they have done for us by simply being who they are. I know that in my life I have met people that have made me think deeply and work to be a better person. I also know that I have encountered people that have given me the opportunity to open my heart and share it.

I don’t like shallow. When I meet people, I immediately want to get real and deep with them. Cut the “what’s your major” crap. And the “any exciting summer plans?” garbage. I want to know what makes you tick. Tell me: what wakes you up in the morning? what makes you smile when no one else is around? Let’s talk about life and goals and dreams and who we are as people and who we can be.

Let’s be constructive to each other. Let’s help each other build and grow and become.

I hope, so deeply that you have someone in your life that you can just be honest and real with. Someone that will listen to you at your lowest points and love you anyway. Someone that will cry tears of joy with you when you feel like your cup runneth over. Someone that enjoys you as you. Someone that asks you hard questions and makes you really think. Someone that doesn’t care what you’re wearing or how you look, but only what you’re feeling and thinking.

I want that for you.

So so badly. And I hope you meet your own Kangaroo Coffee man. A random, attractive barista that makes you think deeply a year later on a Saturday night.

See? Everyone has meaning in our lives.

EVERYONE.

Life is good.

Love,

Ju

on moving.

I was thinking about the title of my blog this morning.

JULIANA MOVES.

When I started this blog, the title was extremely literal. I was actually moving to college, to Austin, from my hometown and my old life and I was excited and thrilled and incredibly nervous. In August 2013, I was leaving a lot of things behind: people, hobbies, places. I was moving away.

On occasion I would think about changing the name because I felt as though it didn’t really make sense anymore. After all, I’ve been in Austin for a while and I probably will be here for sometime more…

However, this morning, I realized how incredibly fitting the title still is!

MOVE·MENT

ˈMO͞OVMƏNT/

NOUN

But out of all the definitions I found, one really caught my eye:

“the progressive development of a poem or story.”

Because isn’t that exactly what this is?

I may be moving physically or to different locations, but most importantly I am moving through life.

And it is not without its hurdles.

I’ve got stories to tell.

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I’ve learned some important lessons in my short 19 years thus far.

Who knows what will come next?

But I will never stop moving. I’ll forever let energy vibrate through me.

Go go go, my friends. Seek out what you’ve always feared.

Move move move.

peponi.

(Disclaimer: This post kind of got away from me. The usual. I can never follow one thought for too long.)

(Also, TITLE REFERENCE! 

)

Yesterday at work I was talking to a coworker about age.

I was telling her how some freshman in my Spanish class asked me if I felt old for turning twenty this May. It was the first time anyone had ever asked me if I felt old — I wasn’t asked that when I turned 16 or 18!

We talked about how I’ll be launching into The Twenties. We talked about how there seems to be a timeline for when to settle down and have a house and a career and etc..

At the time I didn’t think much of it, but today as I was swimming and staring at a pool floor for a few thousand yards my mind went to it.

It is the absolute truth that there is a semi-unspoken timeline placed on us the day we are born. And if you don’t prescribe to that belief, you probably at least acknowledge that there is a LOT of pressure to be stuff.

A college graduate.

A working adult.

A wife/husband.

A perfect friend to all.

An espresso chugging busy-bee.

A kombucha drinking yogi.

A mom/dad.

Basically, anything that popped into your head while reading this list.

But guess what… You don’t have to be any of those things.

I recently watched a video of a montage of three years of travel. In it, the narrator said that we don’t have to do anything. We only need to do the things we decide to do.

Yes. YES YES YES! What a freeing thought!

You do NOT have to be best of the best. You do NOT have to be the perfect being, because you aren’t!

Being in a college, I’ve witnessed some people have a small mental freak out about what they’re doing with their lives. I hear the word ‘should’ all the time.

“I should be getting an internship. I should be taking more classes. I should sign up for summer school. I should work harder. I should relax more. I should I should I should.”

Should is a dangerous word. It’s haunting, in my opinion.

There has been, and will never be again, a day like today. You only get one. This doesn’t mean that you should do anything.

It means that you get to.

Our lives won’t last forever. The number of days are limited. But guess what, you get today.

That is so beautiful.

I don’t feel old for turning twenty. I refuse to feel old when turning ninety. I live in today.

And what a magnificent day it is.

Stop being so afraid of what is ahead. Stop planning so hard. Stop trying to be something you’re not.

Go with it.

Stand in the rain. Let the cold air bite your skin.

Don’t fix your hair when the wind blows it askew. Don’t be afraid to sweat if it means you are soaking up the sun.

Get your hair wet. Smile as much as you possibly can.

Dance. ALWAYS! When you’re sad. When you’re so happy you could explode.

Life will throw you hurdles. Keep your head up. Front flip right over them.

Scraped knees are okay. Scars are glamorous.

Refuse to see life as anything less than wonderful.

Because it IS wonderful.

Happy happy happy Sunday night.

You’re a rockstar.

The week ahead of you is your stage.

good thoughts

Love,

Juliana

Thursday.

Hello hello!

Long time no writing…

Honestly, I’ve been busy in the weirdest of ways. During break I wasn’t super busy, but what I did need to do was very time consuming. And now school has started and I’m interning and training for the marathon and enjoying life and Austin, so this blog has kind of been put on the back burner.

I’ve got quite a bit of stuff to do today, but tonight I’m going to write up a Virtual Coffee Date (maybe hopefully).

No matter what, have a wonderful Thursday! It’s raining here, but I’m okay with that. We had the most beautiful weather of all time earlier this week and Texas could definitely use the rain! 🙂

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Much love,
Ju

2014: To be fearless.

2014 is almost over. It’s unbelievable. It feels like just yesterday I was planning out my 2014 New Year’s Resolutions… So silly!

See last year I had one resolution. To be fearless. My goal was to do one thing every single day that was out of my comfort zone. To do one thing that scared me. Unfortunately, like many New Year’s resolutions, my exact idea was short lasted.

Luckily for me, it bloomed into much more than I could’ve ever hoped for.

2014 taught me many things. But ultimately, this year I learned what it means to be fearless. Contrary to what the word itself suggests, it does not mean having no fears at all.

No no no, what it means is to not let those fears into every nook and crevice of who you are.

I think that fear is healthy. And pretty dang incredible. It taps into one of our most primal instincts: fight or flight.

This year I learned how to look my fears, my demons in the face. And laugh.

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I did things I would’ve never thought possible for me. I met incredible people. I laughed. I cried. I smiled. I woke up every single day with a fire in my heart. On some days it wasn’t quite so bright. But I learned how to feed it.

I traveled. I adventured. I sought out adrenaline rushes. I crossed borders. I discovered my physical limits and pushed past them. I made incredible friends. I discovered who I am, who I want to be.

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I learned how to be unafraid. I learned how to live.

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I wanted to round up as many pictures as I possibly could for a visual depiction of my years, but I found it was hard to do so for two reasons:

1. I didn’t take many pictures. I embraced moments instead of capturing them.

2. Honestly, there are no pictures or words to describe this crazy, beautiful year of my life.

Nonetheless, I have some!

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And my personal favorite…

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It’s been the best year of my life. I can say that with no hesitation.

I guess as 2015 approaches, there’s one thing I want everyone (myself included) to remember…

The ticking of a clock. The flipping of a calendar page. A number changing from 4 to 5… None of that changes who you are. It doesn’t grant you another opportunity to start afresh.

And that’s because it’s all up to YOU. Who do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to keep being afraid of the life you’re leading?

You get to choose. You get to choose happiness. To choose a different path. To choose who you do or do not want in your life.

It’s yours. Get after it. No hesitation. No fear. Just choose.

As you count down the clock on the 31st, I hope you know that it won’t make anything different.

You have to make things different. How? You just do. It happens the moment you just decide.

Live openly. Live freely. Live fearlessly.

Love,

Juliana

P.S. When I was getting ready to fly to Portland, I was scared. Flying kind of terrified me. However, I decided to tell myself that I was not afraid. Over and over and over I repeated it in my head until I actually believed it. After that, it was truth. I wrote a poem on the plane and I always felt as thought it would be better spoken aloud, but I’m going to write it here anyway, because it helped me actually crush a very legitimate fear of mine. ABSOLUTELY CRUSH IT.

Haha, this is the whole journal entry:

“Bear Cub” 12.15.14 @ 7:33 p.m.. Somewhere over TX.

I like fear.

I like it because I think the only thing we’re actually afraid of is who we become when we are afraid. when we’re fearful. when we’re scared.

We turn into these people that we don’t want to be: pitiful, hesitant, stressed.

We let our fear consume us.

We let it eat us whole.

It doesn’t even need to chew.

One second we’re alive and well and the next?

The next second you’re in the belly of the beast.

No survivors.

Our fears are a seemingly incurable disease – destined to attach to a host and suck the life out of it.

We are those hosts.

Sometimes we think we’re safe.

We think we’ve worn repellent.

We think we’ve washed our hands.

But the fear is like a tsunami. A tidal wave. A riptide.

Your pool floaties won’t save you.

How discouraging. What a lost cause.

Not exactly.

You see, we all have the ability to squash our fears like bugs.

You know they say that if you’re ever being attacked by a shark – poke it in the eye.

Big bad Jaws will get his feelings heart and

will

swim

away.

When a grizzly bear is preparing to attack you, you’re supposed to go into the fetal position.

You’ll seem weak.

Like a baby. A cub.

The big, scary bear should

leave

you

be.

Because in that moment, you are not you.

You are telling yourself over and over:

“I am a bear.”

“I am a bear.”

“I am a bear.”

“I am a bear.”

When the fear us about to swallow you alive:

You are a bear.

You are a bear.

You are a bear.

I am a bear.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

You tell yourself that over and over and over and once you believe it – fear sure as hell will too.

You are a bear.

I am a bear.

I am not afraid.

I like fear.

.

.

.

Because I am NOT afraid.

To succeed.

I’ve been scrolling through Pinterest quotes for the last hour because I had two cups of coffee after 4… While I was reading, this quote caught my eye:

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And it bothered me greatly. Maybe it’s because lately I’ve talked to a lot of people about what they want to “do” with their lives. Maybe it’s because after every conversation I’ve realized how little I think about the money I’ll make when I graduate and get a job. Maybe it’s because I don’t agree with many’s definition of success.

Because what does it mean to succeed? To have the money to buy whatever your heart fancies?

To be honest, that sounds plastic.

I think that, yes, success is different for everyone. But I also think that it should not be defined monetarily. And I think that it’s completely up to you whether you’re successful. It shouldn’t be relative.

Sometimes I think about my major. I think about what my first job will be like. I think about the work I’ll do. I think about the people I meet.

I don’t think about my paychecks.

Maybe you think I’m naive.
But here’s the thing, here’s what I want to “do” with my life:

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I’m not going to school to be rich. To have a large house. To wear the fanciest clothes.

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I go to school to help cultivate my ideas. To figure out what I can do to help.

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I see my glass as half full. Being filled. Until my cup runneth over.

I can’t envision my future self. I can’t see numbers on a bank account. Because I’m too busy with the now.

I can do something every single day. And to me, that’s joy. And in my opinion, that’s better that any kind of success.