peponi.

(Disclaimer: This post kind of got away from me. The usual. I can never follow one thought for too long.)

(Also, TITLE REFERENCE! 

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Yesterday at work I was talking to a coworker about age.

I was telling her how some freshman in my Spanish class asked me if I felt old for turning twenty this May. It was the first time anyone had ever asked me if I felt old — I wasn’t asked that when I turned 16 or 18!

We talked about how I’ll be launching into The Twenties. We talked about how there seems to be a timeline for when to settle down and have a house and a career and etc..

At the time I didn’t think much of it, but today as I was swimming and staring at a pool floor for a few thousand yards my mind went to it.

It is the absolute truth that there is a semi-unspoken timeline placed on us the day we are born. And if you don’t prescribe to that belief, you probably at least acknowledge that there is a LOT of pressure to be stuff.

A college graduate.

A working adult.

A wife/husband.

A perfect friend to all.

An espresso chugging busy-bee.

A kombucha drinking yogi.

A mom/dad.

Basically, anything that popped into your head while reading this list.

But guess what… You don’t have to be any of those things.

I recently watched a video of a montage of three years of travel. In it, the narrator said that we don’t have to do anything. We only need to do the things we decide to do.

Yes. YES YES YES! What a freeing thought!

You do NOT have to be best of the best. You do NOT have to be the perfect being, because you aren’t!

Being in a college, I’ve witnessed some people have a small mental freak out about what they’re doing with their lives. I hear the word ‘should’ all the time.

“I should be getting an internship. I should be taking more classes. I should sign up for summer school. I should work harder. I should relax more. I should I should I should.”

Should is a dangerous word. It’s haunting, in my opinion.

There has been, and will never be again, a day like today. You only get one. This doesn’t mean that you should do anything.

It means that you get to.

Our lives won’t last forever. The number of days are limited. But guess what, you get today.

That is so beautiful.

I don’t feel old for turning twenty. I refuse to feel old when turning ninety. I live in today.

And what a magnificent day it is.

Stop being so afraid of what is ahead. Stop planning so hard. Stop trying to be something you’re not.

Go with it.

Stand in the rain. Let the cold air bite your skin.

Don’t fix your hair when the wind blows it askew. Don’t be afraid to sweat if it means you are soaking up the sun.

Get your hair wet. Smile as much as you possibly can.

Dance. ALWAYS! When you’re sad. When you’re so happy you could explode.

Life will throw you hurdles. Keep your head up. Front flip right over them.

Scraped knees are okay. Scars are glamorous.

Refuse to see life as anything less than wonderful.

Because it IS wonderful.

Happy happy happy Sunday night.

You’re a rockstar.

The week ahead of you is your stage.

good thoughts

Love,

Juliana

“Only light can do that.”

Today I was supposed to run the Austin Marathon. All 26.2 miles of it.

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But I didn’t.

Remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about my IT Band giving me grief? Well, it never fully healed.

I started the morning really pumped and totally ready. After all, I trained hard for this and physically and mentally was in shape to do it.

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Around mile 8, I felt a pain in my hip/butt more severe than anything I had felt before. It immediately had me in a limp/hobble. I panicked immediately but decided to remain as calm as I could.

At mile 10 my leg seized up to the point that I couldn’t extend it fully to touch the ground and I thought I was going to fall a few times. I moved to the side of the path, put my head in my hands, and cried. I cried out of pain and fear.

The Austin Marathon is known for being very hilly, but I looked forward to the hills because I was in the least amount of pain going up them. I had zero muscle fatigue and felt great, but my IT pain was so overbearing. The more I ran, the more it hurt and felt like I needed to stop. But when I did stop, even to tie my shoe, the pain would be worse when I started up again. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t escape.

At mile 16 I actually thought to myself “I only have ten more miles of this hurt!” Let me tell you, when a thought like that runs through your head, you ow you’re in a messed up situation.

I kept telling myself to stay positive and to focus on good things. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.”

My gait started to seriously suffer because I was overcompensating on my other leg and that’s never a good thing.

At mile 17.5 or so, a paramedic on a motorcycle came up to me and my mom (she was walking by me at this point) because he noticed that I looked like a wounded animal (that’s my guess). He stopped me and asked what was going on. I explained that it was just my IT being tight and that I could finish the last 9 miles.

Unfortunately, he (as well as many other people) didn’t think that’d be a good idea. If you don’t let it heal, ITBS can become chronic and can sideline a runner for months. Of course I didn’t want that, but I also didn’t want to leave the race. The paramedic spoke with finality and followed my mom and I until we were off the course and walking to her car.

And I cried.

Not only from pain, but because running is my thing. The worst part is that if it hadn’t been for this stupid band in my leg, I would’ve crushed this race. I was ready to negative split.

But you know, life doesn’t work that way. I trained for months and months and it just didn’t work out.

I don’t run because everyone else does, I don’t run because it’s good for you, I don’t run because I want to win anything.

I run because I really and truly love to. I run because it actually brings me joy.

Today has been hard because I’ve kind of had that stripped away from me. It sucks to work so hard for something that you don’t get to achieve.

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Let me tell you something though, I may be down, but I am not out. Not from running. Not from training. Not from life.

We have options in this world believe it or not. Sometimes IT bands bring you to your knees in tears and pain. Today I learned how to get back up.

Today was not a failure. It was not a loss. It was a victory. I walked away from that race a better person than when I started it. It’s not the mileage that’s important. It’s not the medal that counts. Did I want those things? Absolutely.

But another reason that I love running is because it teaches you so many lessons, even if you don’t realize it.

Today I pushed through 10 miles of extreme suffering. 10 miles. And not once did I allow myself to believe I would fail. It took a medical professional to get me off that course.

Running taught me how to fight. It taught me how to keep on going.

And I’ll utilize that lesson until the day I die.

I’m going to let my leg heal and rest, but the next time I step outside to run… It’s going down. Don’t doubt that for a second. (This Is War by 30 Seconds to Mars came on as I wrote that and it was pretty awesome.)

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Love,
Juliana

P.S. With all that being said, I’d still be down for a bunch of hugs.
P.P.S. (Or P.S.S.?) Afterwards, I went to Chipotle with my family and it helped ease my woes. (Miss you, Sabrina and Mathew!)

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important.

What’s important to you?

I’ve been thinking about that a lot today. I’ve been trying to compile a list of what I care about and what I truly think is important to put my energy towards.

I think that caring about and loving on everyone is so important. I think forgiveness is important. Embracing who you really and truly are is important to me.

I believe that using my energy and passion and life to help end world hunger is so incredibly important.

I think that developing real relationships with incredible people is important.

Today at work I was talking with a coworker and she was telling me that sometimes customers get a little snarky — and when you’re having an off day, the rude comments can sort of get to you. I told her that I don’t really noticed people’s shortness anymore because when it comes down to it: it’s just coffee.

And I think that thought process extends past being a barista at a coffee shop. Throughout my life, I’ve been a target for some painful words, I’ve gone through traumas and hurt, I’ve been the one doing the hurting, I’ve wished to be someone else…

A lot of this stuff happens because we allow ourselves to get so wrapped up in something that, in the long run, is so so unimportant.

But maybe that’s just me. To me, being so enthralled with life is important. I hope that you wake up and go to bed so full every single day. Full of what you’ve done that day, who you’ve interacted with, who you are…

I hope that you can take the time to figure out what is and isn’t important to you. So much energy is wasted on negativity. I hope that you can spare yourself from that.

I’ve said many times that I don’t hate anyone because I don’t want to use my energy for something so dark. I want my heart to be so busy loving on all people that there is no room or time for hate.

That is what is important to me. And I choose to embrace it.

Love,
Ju

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Boring Sentences

I’ve never been incredibly good with words. Typically I have so many thoughts and ideas running through my mind but I just can’t find the words or elegance to fully express them. It bothers me on occasion because I have so many things I want to passionately write about and wholeheartedly share with others, but I just can’t get the words right. Nonetheless, I try. But maybe it’s because elegance just really isn’t my style? I find myself nearly bursting at the seems with excitement and innovation and I just can’t keep trapping that in neatly worded sentences and period marks. I think that passion NEEDS exclamation marks and capitalization! I don’t want my thoughts to blend in; I want them to stand out as much as they do in my mind! I’m very good at being calm. I like to be amped and active and looking forward to what’s next while still fully embracing the present! I like that my thought process isn’t always linear because then I get to see things in many different ways, even if it is frustrating at times!

You guys, I want to end world hunger but you better believe that I will not solely tackle it in fancy suits and important meetings. I want to be in the field. I want to get down to the nitty gritty. I want the exclamation points.

If you know me AT ALL, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that elegance isn’t used to describe me. Reservation isn’t what I do. Poised and perfect is kind of a joke to me.

I like to walk with purpose. I rejoice over inner strength and beauty. I like to keep my mind open to people and ideas. I like to smile and I like to make people laugh. I love uninhibited, passionate people. Time is not money — time is ideas.

Do the things you actually like to do. Be the way you’re meant to be! DON’T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR EXCITEMENT!

Go get ’em. Every single day. Be a mover and a shaker.

Stop trying to be “fancy.” Embrace your mess. It’s awesome.

On My Mind

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” -Anne Frank

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” -RWE

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” -John Holmes

“Non nobis solum nati sumus. (Not for ourselves alone are we born.)” -Marcus Tullius Cicero

October & Ramblings

Happy October friends!
This month is so wonderful!
Normally Texas actually begins to transition into fall, there’s pumpkin carving, and Halloween! 🙂

I just finished breakfast and now I’m actually drinking a cup of coffee at home because I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm. I could be taking this time to study for my Genetics midterm on Thursday, but clearly the best way to abate stress is to just procrastinate…

This weekend I am headed home for the first time all semester and I am excited! The weather is supposed to be insanely nice in Magnolia, so I’m going to attempt a 50 mile ride and a 10 mile run. Heyyyooo brick. Other than that, I want to carve a pumpkin and just straight up chill. This semester has made me the busiest I’ve ever been in my life, so I really need a weekend to unwind.

Going to Kerrville for my triathlon was the perfect vacation for me and I came back to Austin feeling really refreshed, but going to Magnolia will be my chance to go on a lazy vacation.

Last night, there were so many cops and even a helicopter surrounding my apartment complex! We locked all the doors and such, but I still have no idea what was going on…

Also, yesterday was such an amazing day! There was a minor hiccup of just plain ol’ negativity, but I took my girl T-Swizzy’s advice and shook it off. Yeah, I got down to that sick beat. Hahahahaha, man I’m funny. #not

Nonetheless, the rest of my day was freaking awesome and I ran into one of my insanely awesome coworkers on campus which was definitely a day brightener!

Today I have classes, three hours of Genetics office hours (to hopefully help me wrap my head around it), and then a swim!

The fact that it’s October makes up for it though 🙂

Love,
Juliana

P.S. My dad’s birthday is tomorrow!

Always

Good morning 🙂

I’m currently taking a mental break from studing organic chemistry. My first exam is tonight and I’m a bit nervous! I’ve been studying a ton and I actually do understand the material, but it’s still scary!

Anyway, I’m listening to Daughter on Spotify and it is so so relaxing. (Listen to Medicine). Also, the weather is absolutely incredible! It makes me want to dance with my best friend and smile at anybody I see. But I like that no matter the weather.

You guys, life is so good. So so so often I see people post/write/say “I hate school” or “I hate Mondays” and etc. I know that it’s not necessarily a vehement hatred haha, but it’s still so negative to say!

That being said, this is one of my favorite things ever:

good thoughts

🙂 Life can be hectic and stressful (I totally get that, just look at my schedule) but it is still so wonderful. There is ALWAYS time to watch the way the wind moves the leaves on the trees. There is ALWAYS time to tell someone how much you love and appreciate them. There is ALWAYS time to nourish your body and soul. There is ALWAYS time for kindness and gentleness. Thee is ALWAYS time to make the day the best it can be.

But first you must fill your head with goodness.

My head may be filled to the brim with ochem but there is ALWAYS room for good thoughts. ❤

Happy Thursday, you guys.

Love,

Ju

Good Vibes

Today has been busy busy busy.

No joke.

Every single day is like that. Although, today is a rest day so at least I’m not squeezing in a sweat sesh! Early tomorrow morning though I am meeting Lynde for a 5k run and then BREAKFAST TACOS! I only have one class, then I’m going on a bike ride and/or swim and chilling for the rest of the afternoon.

It’ll be glorious.

Guys, my life has been full of such good vibes. I’m a firm believer that if you give good vibes, you’ll get them back. For real though.

Life is so so sooooo good. As long as you decide that you want it to be! I could be up to my eyeballs in stress right now, but I’m not. Instead, I’m taking things as they come with a smile on my face.

Life

🙂

Now I’m off to do some homework, maybe go to HEB, and then surely pass out.

Talk to you guys later!

Ju

Jam Packed

Hey Happy Tuesday!

The day’s barely started but I’ve been busy.
My schedule has been like this:
OChem
Swim workout
20 minute break to eat apple and write this 😉
Genetics
UGS (as the assistant)
My office hours
Nutrition lab

And then I get to go home at 6:30, do homework, go to gym for upper body lifting, dinner, and sleeeeep.

My schedule is jam packed and I am not exaggerating when I say my life has solely been school, training, and work.

Not going to lie though, I love it. 🙂

I have a quarter distance Ironman on the 28th, so I haven’t been slacking in training. On Friday I swam 2000 consecutive yards! It was my first time and it felt goooooood.

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Sunday I headed out to do a bike/run brick. My plan was 20 miles on the bike and then a 10k run. Well, at mile 17.7 my tire blew so I didn’t get to finish that.

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However, my run went from a 10k to TEN MILES! It was amazing! The double digits are back! Yesterday I was so sore though! Haha 🙂 on Sunday I’m going on a 56 mile ride which should be fun!

Alright, I should finish this apple and then head to class!

Much love,
Juliana

P.S. Happy birthday, Sabrina!

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