Going Wrong

“When things go wrong, don’t go with them.”

School is giving me a hard time. Well, to be specific, BIO 325 is giving me a hard time. I’m in a situation that I’ve never been in before and thinking about my options makes me want to cry no matter the time or place. However, I absolutely refuse to allow this unfortunate circumstance to ruin my life. At the end of the day, I’m so happy with the life I lead and I know for an absolute fact that there is more to who I am than the grade I do or do not get in one class. Classes can be retaken but this moment cannot be relived. My well-being and mental health is important. Living is important.

Love,
Juliana

Stress

Hey!

I don’t really feel up for writing a full post today, but just know that stress levels are high.

All is well and I know the issue isn’t worth so much of my energy, but it’s hard not to get overwhelmed when societal pressures are so heavy.

Nonetheless, I am so incredibly and ridiculously human. Things aren’t supposed to work out in our favor 100% of the time and sometimes us humans straight up make mistakes!

I’m still trying to wrap my head around my options so until I figure it out, I’m just going to take it one day at a time.

After rereading that, it totally sounds like I’m about to announce I’m 19 and pregnant.

HAHAHA DEFINITELY NOT!

Just to clear that up.

Happy Hump Day!

Juliana

Christmas Things

Hey,

So finals are stressing me out to the MAX. Well, really just my BME and calc finals.

I took chem today and it really wasn’t so bad! Bio is on Saturday, but I’ve retained the information well because I was actually interested, so it shouldn’t be too stressful to study for.

And seriously, right now I am powered by coffee. Homemade coffee, Starbucks coffee, any coffee I can get my hands on really.

Anyway, enough talk about finals. I’ve been studying and/or testing ALL DAY. Legitimately since like 10 am. So, I am going to use this as a distraction and hopefully a destressifier. I had a big cup of coffee at 7, so I think I’ll be up for a little while longer…

OKAY, this Saturday I am going home! Alex was supposed to come up on Friday so that we could doing some cool Austin things, but life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. However, everything will be okay because we still have some pretty awesome CHRISTMAS-Y things lined up to do in Magnolia such as:

1. Fancy Night – not really a Christmas thing, but whatevs. I even got a new dress for it! Pictures later.

2. Christmas lights! – I told Alex that all I wanted for Christmas was to see some cool Christmas light displays like Santa’s Wonderland. Sadly, though, Santa’s Wonderland is expensive to just see lights for. However, we are going to hunt down other cool light displays in the Magnolia/Woodlands area.

3. Decorating sugar cookies! – I want to do this, so it’s happening. YAY

4. Gingerbread House – I really want to do this too.

5. ICE SKATING

Basically, I told Alex that I have been deprived of Christmas cheer because of school and finals and studying and stress, so we are going to embrace it like crazy when I get home. FALALALALAALALA

Back to school talk.

I haven’t had to pull any all-nighters or even any really late nights all semester.

hahaha it’s because unlike many college kids, I wake up early and start studying instead of having to stay up late!! However, because of that, I have definitely developed a true addiction to coffee. But we all knew that.

Okay, I think I might study for bme a little more and then try to sleep. It’s hard for me to sleep when I am stressed. 

Also, I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors. My brain is a little all over the place right now.

Love,,

Julaina

P.S. my next post will be about running

three things.

BME programming assignment #2

UGS research paper

BME midterm #2

One down and two to go! 

The research paper is due tomorrow and I am actually procrastinating by writing this, but I just don’t know how to write the darn paper! Bleh. I enjoy writing, but the topic I picked is BORING.

Anyway, this week is extremely stressful because I HAVE to do well on that midterm and the research paper has to be about 7 pages long… And I have the intro paragraph and that’s it.

The good news is I HAVE KNOCKED ONE THING OFF THE LIST! That program was stressing me out to the max. I cried while randomly walking around campus like 6 times today because I was so freaking frustrated. But I did it 🙂

The research paper isn’t really stressful, it’s just going to be such a pain to write! I may need to get a pot of coffee going for that… Haha!

My motivation to get through this week is that I am going HOME! ❤

I love going home. Really, I do. I love the people and even the drive! Instead of going straight down 290, I’ve found that from my apartment it is faster to take 21 to 71 to 290. It’s shorter, faster, and more scenic {because it takes me right next to Bastrop State Park!}

These last couple weeks have been full of tests and almost end of the semester anxiety. So I have found that it feels a little easier if I write down all the big things I have to tackle and watch them get checked off as I accomplish them. It’s always a big weight off my shoulders when I finally can scratch the last major obstacle off of my desk calendar and planner!

Coffee definitely helps me get through the crazy weeks. Today, Erica tweeted me a $5 Starbucks gift card through their new “tweet a coffee” program! I already spent it… Haha! On a tall, skinny, salted caramel mocha. It was pretty good! The Starbucks I went to was out of caramel brulee syrup, but the SCM was a nice substitute!

In other news, I’m skipping my calc discussion tomorrow to sleep in and do my calc homework at home. I feel like I’ve said this a thousand times, but the discussion is just not helpful for me whatsoever!

However, I am going to go to my 9:30 BME discussion so that I can kick my midterm right in the jugular. 

Tomorrow is also I casual training run. I’m thinking 5 miles after I get out of BME at 6:15. Last week I did that and it started to rain a little and I felt so hardcore. Haha! I need new headphones though 😦 One of the earbuds is broken, so it’s a little harder to get in the zone when music is only blaring in one ear!

Oh well! I shall survive!

Now I need to go fill up my water bottle and crack down on this research paper {again, BLEH!}

Talk to you guys later!

-Juliana 

Ohhhhh.

Sorry for the absence people!

Now, straight to the “ohhhhh.”

I now understand what stress is. 

You see, I’ve had my future alllll planned out. Major in biomedical engineering, go to med school, become a doctor. OR, major in biomedical engineering, work in labs, go to graduate school, do research.

Sounds safe and smart and hard, right?

Well, here’s the thing. I don’t want to do that anymore. Granted, I’ve only been in class 2 weeks, but I can already tell that, in the long run, it won’t make me happy.

I enjoy working and interacting with people. I also enjoy working out, being healthy, learning how nutrition, and still helping the world. Add all those things up and what does that lead me to want to be? A dietitian and/or nutritionist with a focus in international nutrition. 

When I tell people that, they say “well, will that get you a job?” or “does that pay well?” And in all honesty, I really don’t care.

Why would I want to major in something and waste time and money on it if it’s going to make me unhappy? 

With a focus on international nutrition, I would be working on world hunger and malnutrition all over the world. I care about that. It excites me to think about getting to do that.

This year I will only take two BME specific courses, so I’m going to give it a year to make my decision. However, next semester, I am going to take Intro to Nutrition to get a feel for it. 

I want to be happy with my life. And I know it’s just the beginning and I’ve got time, but I want to enjoy ALL of it. I don’t want to look back and think about how miserable I was freshman year, you know?

Those have been my thoughts lately. It’s hard to focus on infinite series, sulfhydryl groups, and kinetic molecular theory of gases in ideal conditions, when all I’m thinking about is how unhappy it makes me. 

It’s all putting a weight on my shoulders and heart. Alas, I shall carry on.

With such a big decision to make and with the fear of making the wrong one, this gives me hope:

Image

Have a good night!